So, …being an Iowan myself: born, raised
and quite familiar with the stoic attitudes of toughness including that ‘get
‘er done’ work ethic of most Midwesterners, I could appreciate much of what he defines
as the culture of the region, past and present, to how similar his own South
Dakota rural roots were in that respect.
As individuals, …we are, who we are,…
for many reasons, and as Sessions describes, our quest for authenticity and
genuineness—our desire to live from our core being and actually BE that most
desirable identity that we so admire and wish to create for ourselves, requires
us to view our lives as ‘beings in the process
of becoming,’ because we are constantly reinventing ourselves and our lives
to match the situations we encounter along the way, as well as marking our
place in the time period we inhabit during our journey—how our existence affects
the collective we inhabit.
So to BE REAL, to be an authentic person,
is to know yourself so well that you befriend yourself despite your perceived faults or shortcomings, and allow others to
befriend you as well.
The nature/nurture (genetics vs. the ‘Village
raising of the child’) counter-theories of who we are and why we do what we do,
are always present and at work in our lives because essentially we are both the sum total of all we have
experienced and all that we believe
ourselves to be. Our identities, forged in our own psyches and under
influence of the dominant culture surrounding us—those archetypal ideals with whom
we align ourselves, or the beliefs that we follow without question or failing, or
the narratives (stories) we follow like roadmaps to a meaningful life, or the
myths we create or adhere to that hold us strong and steadfast when our knees
are knocking at an uncertain future or when our backs and minds are near breaking
with an overwhelming burden—those character-building situations that test our
metal—our response to those affecting influences, is how we
identify ourselves.
And whether or not we ring true to our self-identity
concepts is whether or not we live with integrity and authenticity—whether or
not we are genuine—or REAL.
The other possibility on being not-real is that we are simply deceiving
ourselves in some way, and keep living “Grade B-movie” lives without meaning
and purpose. We ‘phone in’ our lives rather than actually experiencing them. To
actually ‘live life’ means things get messy once in awhile. You don’t walk
through the cow pasture long before you inadvertently step in shit no matter
how careful you try to be. Does that misstep mean your life is LESS meaningful?
Or does it just mean you need to clean your shoe?
To me that’s where all the concepts
examined gets a little sticky…defining what
IS a REAL life, from a life of self-deception and careful maneuvering,
but cow-pie avoidance.
Is a REAL life one of material
accumulations, or lists of accomplishments, or numerous “friends and
acquaintances” (Facebook now makes a distinction between the two—I think that’s
REALLY funny for Facebook to do!), or is it altruistic actions and
self-sacrifice, and monk-like devotion to spiritual principles?
It’s a little like that ZEN phrase about
“What do you do before enlightenment?—Chop wood and carry water. What do you do
after enlightenment?—Chop wood and carry water.”
So what makes for a life of meaning and
purpose? Is it how much you DO in your
life, or is it how much you DON’T do because you are ‘just BEING’ in the
moment? The Taoist philosophy of “Just Being,” and merging with the moment, is
a primary path for many who search for meaning and purpose to life. To a
Taoist, you can find meaning everywhere, in everything, and everyone is your
equal and just like you, they are trying to find purpose and meaning to their
lives by simply living them.
See, that’s where it gets
confusing on how to live an authentic life—how to live with personal integrity
and genuineness in all actions. But Sessions also notes the conundrum of
“Beauty, as well as life’s meaning, is often in the eyes/mind of the
beholder.”
However, overall, I do believe this part
of his philosophy: I think that we all need to know that in some way, however
small it may seem, we DO matter to the greater scheme of things—to the people
we interact with and to the world we inhabit, because despite how it often
seems at times, we are not really alone here; and our thoughts and actions
affect not only ourselves, but all others because we are simply small parts of
the greater whole. Meaning: “I may exist for me, but I affect you in the
process of my doing so.”
Anyway, as I said, if you like
philosophy and psychology, you will probably like Sessions book: Becoming Real: Authenticity in an Age of Distraction, and get a history lesson in
philosophical thought that led him to pen it.
(PS: I hope you like footnotes— Just
teasing Robert!)
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