Sunday, January 5, 2014

Book Review of “Becoming Real” by Robert Sessions (originally posted 7.2.2012)

This is a good book if you like psychology and philosophy, which are two of my favorite subjects. The entire title is Becoming Real: Authenticity in an Age of Distraction, by Robert Sessions, PhD. Sessions, who has probably retired from it by now, was a professor at Kirkwood Community College in Iowa City, for many years.
So, …being an Iowan myself: born, raised and quite familiar with the stoic attitudes of toughness including that ‘get ‘er done’ work ethic of most Midwesterners, I could appreciate much of what he defines as the culture of the region, past and present, to how similar his own South Dakota rural roots were in that respect.
As individuals, …we are, who we are,… for many reasons, and as Sessions describes, our quest for authenticity and genuineness—our desire to live from our core being and actually BE that most desirable identity that we so admire and wish to create for ourselves, requires us to view our lives as ‘beings in the process of becoming,’ because we are constantly reinventing ourselves and our lives to match the situations we encounter along the way, as well as marking our place in the time period we inhabit during our journey—how our existence affects the collective we inhabit.
So to BE REAL, to be an authentic person, is to know yourself so well that you befriend yourself despite your perceived faults or shortcomings, and allow others to befriend you as well.
The nature/nurture (genetics vs. the ‘Village raising of the child’) counter-theories of who we are and why we do what we do, are always present and at work in our lives because essentially we are both the sum total of all we have experienced and all that we believe ourselves to be. Our identities, forged in our own psyches and under influence of the dominant culture surrounding us—those archetypal ideals with whom we align ourselves, or the beliefs that we follow without question or failing, or the narratives (stories) we follow like roadmaps to a meaningful life, or the myths we create or adhere to that hold us strong and steadfast when our knees are knocking at an uncertain future or when our backs and minds are near breaking with an overwhelming burden—those character-building situations that test our metal—our response to those affecting influences, is how we identify ourselves.

And whether or not we ring true to our self-identity concepts is whether or not we live with integrity and authenticity—whether or not we are genuine—or REAL.
The other possibility on being not-real is that we are simply deceiving ourselves in some way, and keep living “Grade B-movie” lives without meaning and purpose. We ‘phone in’ our lives rather than actually experiencing them. To actually ‘live life’ means things get messy once in awhile. You don’t walk through the cow pasture long before you inadvertently step in shit no matter how careful you try to be. Does that misstep mean your life is LESS meaningful? Or does it just mean you need to clean your shoe?
To me that’s where all the concepts examined gets a little sticky…defining what IS a REAL life, from a life of self-deception and careful maneuvering, but cow-pie avoidance.
Is a REAL life one of material accumulations, or lists of accomplishments, or numerous “friends and acquaintances” (Facebook now makes a distinction between the two—I think that’s REALLY funny for Facebook to do!), or is it altruistic actions and self-sacrifice, and monk-like devotion to spiritual principles?
It’s a little like that ZEN phrase about “What do you do before enlightenment?—Chop wood and carry water. What do you do after enlightenment?—Chop wood and carry water.”
So what makes for a life of meaning and purpose?  Is it how much you DO in your life, or is it how much you DON’T do because you are ‘just BEING’ in the moment? The Taoist philosophy of “Just Being,” and merging with the moment, is a primary path for many who search for meaning and purpose to life. To a Taoist, you can find meaning everywhere, in everything, and everyone is your equal and just like you, they are trying to find purpose and meaning to their lives by simply living them.
See, that’s where it gets confusing on how to live an authentic life—how to live with personal integrity and genuineness in all actions. But Sessions also notes the conundrum of “Beauty, as well as life’s meaning, is often in the eyes/mind of the beholder.” 
However, overall, I do believe this part of his philosophy: I think that we all need to know that in some way, however small it may seem, we DO matter to the greater scheme of things—to the people we interact with and to the world we inhabit, because despite how it often seems at times, we are not really alone here; and our thoughts and actions affect not only ourselves, but all others because we are simply small parts of the greater whole. Meaning: “I may exist for me, but I affect you in the process of my doing so.”
Anyway, as I said, if you like philosophy and psychology, you will probably like Sessions book: Becoming Real: Authenticity in an Age of Distraction, and get a history lesson in philosophical thought that led him to pen it.
(PS: I hope you like footnotes— Just teasing Robert!)

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